I am ceramic
This body can be shattered
But it can be cleaned
by Heather Emme
I’ve noticed that Social Justice Warriors get a lot of bad press. Since society, justice and even warriors are all generally viewed as positive, I wondered why they’re taking so much flack. In doing some perfunctory research, I’ve come to the conclusion that the problem partly lies in the misclassification of Social Justice characters. In order to assist, I’ve created this handy guide. I hope you find it useful.
Social Justice Bard
The Bard class is most commonly associated with poets or storytellers, but likely includes any characters who use art as their predominant medium of social justice. If you’re calling out a SJW blogger you despise, you may well be misclassifying them! Odds are good they are actually a Social Justice Bard.
Social Justice Cleric
Does your SJW believe in magic or a higher power? Are they wearing robes? Looks like you’ve met up with a Social Justice Cleric. SJCs are not as rare a breed as you might think. While some find justice at odds with their belief systems, these folks show that you can have faith and do good at the same time.
Social Justice Druid
Are they vegan? Do they understand the ecological impact of low-cost clothing production? Have they lived in a tree for two years? You may call them warriors, but those, my friend, are Social Justice Druids. Druids are the folks trying to save our eco-system faster than we can destroy it. No small task. Their armour may be hemp, but their weapons are science…and probably more hemp.
Social Justice Paladin
These good folks just can’t brook the BS. It’s not that they can’t tell a lie, it’s that they see through the layers to the heart of the matter. They are rarely distracted by gaslighting, bingo card rhetoric or concern trolls. They hold up a (non-gas) light so that we can see what’s ahead.
Social Justice Rogue
These are the SJWs you don’t see coming. They are awesomely problematic, fantastically eccentric and often, just plain weird. Have you found yourself nodding in agreement, whilst having no idea what the heck just happened? You’ve been brain-pounced by a Social Justice Rogue.
This is just a starter guide. Other classes worth exploring include Social Justice Monks, Social Justice Fighters and Social Justice Barbarians. Remember, you don’t have to like or agree with a SJ character for them to contribute something important to a campaign!
Now go forth with your new knowledge and, when mocking people for having ideas, make sure you use the right classification.
I have 18,000,000 assignments and almost as many work hours, but I will post poems. Because I can.
I Posted a Picture
I posted a picture, and in it I smiled
With lips pulled back
And eyes wild
Of vigor and glee
Which all of you wrongly accepted as me
It was not a lie in the strictest of senses
And I could be
If I played with tenses
If science and magic were no longer fighting
If I got a haircut
Or played with the lighting
If doctors were mothers and kisses could cure
Then she could be me
And I could be her.
by Heather Emme