When Falling Short of Forever Does Not Mean Failure

Eternal love. Till death do us part. Forever and ever, amen.



God, no wonder so many young couples are opting out of marriage. Marriage may very well have the worst marketing team since Burger King. The idea is that a marriage that ends is a failure. A coupling that starts, and does not reach a death bed, is a throwaway.

This is the idea I reject.

Imagine you have a car. For ten years, it’s the perfect car. It gets you from place to place, only needs a few minor repairs and an occasional cleaning.

After the aforementioned decade, things stop working so well. Add to that the fact that you’ve grown out of your two-seater Beetle stage and are ready for something different. At some you point you admit it, this car just can’t be what it was and hey – you’ve changed a good deal too.

You sell the car. Down the road, you might buy a new one. You might get a Vespa. You never know.

But take a minute and ask yourself, was that car ownership a failure? Does the fact that it didn’t last forever make those years that did any less fulfilling? Can’t that car be a success with a shorter timeline, rather than a failure to last forever?

And THAT, my peoples, is how you milk a metaphor.

Still, I’m not wrong. How valuable would it be if we saw an ended marriage as a success? I mean, if I eat a cake and the cake’s all gone, I still consider that cake a success. I enjoyed it while it lasted even if that wasn’t forever. Plus cake tastes so good with metaphor milk.

I truly believe one of the secrets to the relative longevity of my marriage is that we always treat it like a success. We acknowledge that it could end. No one is trapped in this love (unless someone bought me furry cuffs for Valentine’s day.) That freedom to redefine the success of marriage from mere survival to an innate and present value means that should we part, our marriage will still have been a success, because love is not a marathon, it’s a whatever we want it to be.

*These late night ramblings brought to you by dental surgery and painkillers.*


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