Dear Special K, Shut Up. No, Really.

Hi super happy Special K marketers. I’ll bet you’re really chuffed because you’ve managed to score yourself the viral hit seen here:

In this ‘pretty-rich-ladies-who-buy-nice-clothes’ ad, you tell us to shush. Shush that voice that tells us we are too fat, that we have thunder thighs. 93% of women “fat talk” you claim (I’m sure you’ve the science to back that one up.) And you, oh noble creators of crunchy cereal product, you will change that.

Let’s just hope they’ve forgotten that the voice they are shushing is also yours. You’re pretty well know for fat talk, as I recall.

Stalkers? More comments from rude guys on the bus? My sister's hand me downs?

More comments from rude guys on the bus? My sister’s hand-me-downs?

Yep, Oh Special Ones, you are right up there with the fat-shamers you’re now encouraging us to shush.

2008-05-04-images-image

I like to think I’m in direct competition with my wardrobe. Especially the bras.

Shhhhh! Do you hear me, internal monologue fed to me by the same companies now trying to sell me the idea of fighting you! Shhhhh!

I can drop a jean size in 2 weeks, but why would I do that to poor Jean?

I can drop a jean size in 2 weeks, but why would I do that to poor Jean?

Hrm. I’m starting to suspect that this might just be a marketing ploy aimed at the self-esteem market and that as soon as it stops selling, you’ll be right back to fat shaming me.

I think it was really this commercial, a stunner from my childhood years, that summed up the hypocrisy for me:

How about this, Special K: Instead of playing all these clever, new, Dove-inspired, touchy-feely-crap ads, you play your old ads, followed by a sincere apology. Then I might buy what you’re selling. As it stands now, it’s probably just time for you to Shhhhh!

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6 thoughts on “Dear Special K, Shut Up. No, Really.

  1. Heather, I Follow you because love your writing. Your ‘Special K’ piece is wonderful, but is positively rife with typos and grammatical mistakes. Sadly, in my opinion, this brings it all down a notch. I would be honored and happy to proof-read your writings and return them to you free as a public service. This way, I think you’d get every bit of respect you deserve, which is a lot. Sincerely, David.

    • Thanks for the offer. I actually really appreciate it. Here’s the problem, though: If I add that step, I won’t do this blog. I know this about me. I don’t mind being macro-judged, but I hate being micro-judged. I will just stop writing. If I were writing for a paper or something, I’d hand it off to an editor, they’d fix it and I’d approve it and then, hey, pretty prose on page. Plus they’d pay me, so I’d feel like they had earned the whole micro-judging thing.

      If I write this stuff and don’t post it right away, I lose my nerve. I just stop. It’s silly and weird and I’ll work on it and message you if I can see a way to fix this broken brain issue, but for now I’m grateful, but not quite there.

      Thanks for reading and for digging it.

      • Thank you for your reply, Heather. I totally understand and respect whatever your process needs to be. Thank you for your candor and for your sharing your wonderful gift. Happy Holidays.

      • ๐Ÿ™‚ One of my big mantras: May I Find The Moment In Which To Choose (rather than knee-jerk).

  2. Hi Heather you’re completely right to be suspicious of Special K’s motives. But those old ads were made by men at a time when men were making all the ads. Now there are lots of women giving it a go, with genuine women’s interests at heart who trying to fix all those wrongs and do it better. Give them a chance, and don’t make them pay for for the old boys’ mistakes.

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